Fuckin' Rainbows
I laugh at my own jokes, like, constantly. I'm Roxann and this blog is quality.
my mom just got disappointed when i told her where i want to go for my birthday dinner because she wanted to go somewhere else
Discussing party mix:
me: “I wish they made bags without pretzels.”
mom: “I don’t think they make- any.”
my mom just brought me a slice of apple with a bite taken out of it because she and my dad were too full to finish it
- on Wednesday I made a huge pile of cookies
- yesterday I wanted to bring some to school
- but when I went to the kitchen they were all gone
- I just asked my mom about it
- she hid them
- so we would have some left for today
- ????????????
TV: “Vehicles are among the biggest threats to snakes.”
My mom: “Good!”
I just went into the living room, and my mom is watching a show where a Mistress/Domme is being interviewed in her dungeon.
My mom turns to me and casually tells me she’s going to see my Grandma tomorrow.
Sometimes my own life surprises me.
My mom just told me she wants Enter The Ninja by Die Antwoord to play at her wedding.
We are the same person.
- My mom just bought a new pair of pants
- and she’s showing me
- and says
- “finally, jeans that-“
- and she like shakes them about
- Yes mom, jeans that dance on their own.
My mom walked in while I was watching Cosmos:
mom: “Do you like Carl Sagan? [dirty look]”
me: “Yeah, what’s wrong with Carl Sagan?!?”
mom: “He’s president of the skeptics.”
“If you want to be a sexy worker, butchering is the new thing.”
Hey remember that time
I went to a pub with my mom and there was a repeat of the Superbowl starting and she had a mojito and kept saying “I WANT TO SEE THE HALF-TIME SHOW.”
Actual conversation I had with my mom:
- Her: I liked Jar Jar Binks.
- Me: Jar Jar Binks was racist.
- Her: Jar Jar Binks was funny.
